Note: My suicide attempt has left me with significant mental “challenges”. It’s incredibly difficult for me to focus and consequently write/think at the same level I used to. It’s not impossible, and some days I am able to focus more easily than others but generally it’s a difficult and unpleasant process. This piece is unfinished and I will continue to work on it as my health permits....continue
Barriers to Discussing Suicide
There are a few thoughts I must unburden. I have always found it difficult to talk about severe depression and suicide because it means risking being forcibly committed to a psychiatric facility, being cut off against your will from everything you know. It’s a horrific experience. This creates a significant barrier that requires trust to overcome. Trust in both the person and system you find yourself in to react compassionately. A hostile one, like the ...continue
Part 4, Distance: Carleton University’s Department of Sociology and Anthropology Mental Health Failures and my Suicide Attempt.
This section will need more work but there’s something I want to get outthere. The workload and resulting “distance” this places between students/faculty/administration contributes to the isolation of each. In December of 2019, ~3 months before my suicide attempt, I tried to reach out to the professor who had agreed to supervise my thesis. I had come across something which I knew to be related to his own research. Not only that but it was ...continue
Part 3, Bullying: Carleton University’s Department of Sociology and Anthropology Mental Health Failures and my Suicide Attempt.
Bullying was another problem I encountered as a graduate student at Carleton University. In addition to struggling to receive support through Carleton University’s mental health support resources. On top of professors and fellow graduate students openly discriminating against Quebec, accusing Quebecers of being racist for protecting their language from English’ cultural hegemony in North America and the apathetic responses I received when I expressed my frustration. Beyond these specific experiences, the accepted exploitation of ...continue
Part 2, Open Discrimination: Carleton University’s Department of Sociology and Anthropology Mental Health Failures and my Suicide Attempt.
There are two in class incidents at Carleton University that were significant in contributing to my attempted suicide. Both happened in two separate graduate classes I parcipated in. The first class was by Jacqueline Kennelly where she invited Jayne Malenfant and Dr. Naomi Nichols to speak about their experiences conducting field research on November 12th, 2018. Both were working with an organization in Montreal who worked with homeless populations. Both PhD speakers were anglophone, one ...continue
Part 1, Response: Carleton University’s Department of Sociology and Anthropology Mental Health Failures and my Suicide Attempt.
Carleton University’s response to my situation is, and was, terrible.I’ll concede that the opportunity to respond was limited, when I reached out to the administration about my situation I was already in crisis. It was a critical moment. When I asked what processes were in place that handled issues between students I was asked if the problem was of a personal nature or a workplace issue. I’m not sure how you can disentangle one from ...continue
Dénouement
I suppose I can be appreciative of Carleton University and the department of Sociology and Anthropology. My experience as a graduate student of the institution and its people certainly helped burn away any veneer of the noble academic and the pursuit of higher education as a path of enlightenment and betterment for societies. I had hoped my research which sought to uncover how hackers who manage and design technologies on which democratic processes rely, engage ...continue
Critical Review: Allison Hanes’s Column “The devil is in the details of Bill 96 — and they are alarming”
Allison Hanes wrote and published this garbage and I felt compelled to critique it in roughly same manner, albeit more roughly, as I would have were I still in grad school grading papers. Not sure how this fits in to the general theme of my blog yet, but I felt compelled to post it. I might spin this type of article into its own thing. source: https://montrealgazette.com/opinion/columnists/hanes-the-devil-is-in-the-details-of-bill-96-and-they-are-alarming I sincerely hope Bill 96 works to ...continue
Project: 3D Printed Arduino Wireless Trigger for Mamiya RB67
The purpose of this project was to create a wireless trigger for the Mamiya RB67. I accomplished this by designing a 3D printed bracket for the servo motor and a hotshoe mount for the Arduino board and an RF Receiver....continue
Pandemic as War: A Dangerous Frame
News coverage, twitter comments, and interviews have featured people from all walks of life describing the current pandemic through language we typically with armed conflicts. Covid-19 is our enemy, we must forgo peace time luxuries to support those fighting on the front lines. It’s a compelling and easily understood narrative which has been reinforced by decades of participation in various conflicts around the world. We’ve internalized these scripts, sets, and the roles we’re expected to ...continue
